changeling times

trials and tribulations of eclectic chicken

Radio(2)Therapy November 14, 2012

Filed under: home stuff — eclectic chicken @ 4:27 pm
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Well, I really craved a spinach and feta parcel and a piece of cake from the bakery in Stamford today and as Jane was doing her banking she tried her best… they’d sold out of spinachy parcels so I had spinach and ricotta pasta from M&S instead. Nothing like what I wanted…. but I ate it without complaint becuase it was well meant and I’m trying to be easy to look after.

After lunch watching the news I lay down on the sofa and suddenly realised how comfortable it was and asked if there was a blanket handy – there wasn’t but Jane went and got one and threw it over me…. mmm warm and comfortable. Quite a rare combination in our house at the moment.

As I started to drift off she changed the television from the news to Radio 2, playing at a level usually chosen by old deaf people whilst drying their hair with a washing machine on spin cycle in the same room…. normally I’d have asked for it to be turned down….

but I was so warm…. so comfortable….

me and my innards resonated to Neil Diamond and I slept.

Solid… for two hours when I woke up to Donny Osmonds voice and the whirlwind that is the boy and Jane returning from the school run… and at the same time the phone rang….

…amidst all this (as the phone was for me) I got up very groggy and picked up my left over chocolate cake from lunch for company and realised I felt groggy but really quite strange.

I talked on the phone (college ringing and no I’m not going in I just woke up) and Jane spoke to me and I snapped at her as I felt so weird.

And then I realised what it was….and promptly burst into tears.

No pain.

Not a bit…

I apologised to Jane and had a cup of tea.

I think I cried becuase crying before has come in very short bursts becuase it hurt more to cry than not to…. I apologised to Jane becuase she’s being brilliant and doing her best and I had a cup of tea becuase theres never a bad time to have a cup of tea.

It just feels very strange and lovely to be totally pain free for the first time in weeks… as I type I can feel it creeping back. Whether the sofa is just comfortable…. whether the new pain killers are kicking in a bit or whether it really was the healing art of radio 2 on full belt… I dunno.

But it felt good.


Seeking comfort September 15, 2012

Filed under: cancer,home stuff,thinks — eclectic chicken @ 4:00 pm
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I’m seeking comfort this afternoon as I’ve been in pain pretty much all day.

The dog (recovering well but still not chipper) and I have spent most of the day on the sofa, reading, snoozing, and trying not to lick the operation site…. (me the first two, Lucky the latter two)… its definitely one of those days I’d like to comfort eat…. buttery crumpets, crisps, cake, a bacon sandwich perhaps.

But of course I can’t.

To try and escape the pain I thought snuggling into a warm bed would be pleasant… but my bed becuase of my back isn’t like that… it’s a hard bed. It’s not snuggly and my duvet and blanket are utilitarian as that’s what I like at night.

Mmmmm…. a big squishy bed, with plumpy pillows galore and a tray of comfort food.

Maybe in bed whilst I nibble my way through my goodies I could watch some comforting tv…. a familiar film.

But the pain is a tad too distracting for that.

Still…. I have a stack of new library books… and that’s what’s filled the day so far…. still… reading would be much more pleasant with the occassional square or chocolate… maybe a bowl of gathia mix.

…or a hug.

Hugs are always good… they can fill the void that potato cakes and bourbon creams cannot.

But a hug is probably as likely to happen as someone appearing on my doorstep with a fatless trifle this afternoon.

When pain is ongoing it drains you, physically and emotionally…. today I want to be small and curled up warm on the sofa, to have the telly on in the background, a good book to read and someone to bring me things to eat that won’t make the pain worse.

I want a Saturday afternoon circa 1976.

I want to be comfortable.



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