changeling times

trials and tribulations of eclectic chicken

Tutti-frutti ice-cream stolen from Garden Shed! February 26, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — eclectic chicken @ 11:46 pm
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We spent a couple of hours with Jane’s parish priest tonight and have come away with the befuddlement slightly cleared.

Jane becuase the priest had obviously gone away and given it a great deal of thought, prayer even, and really spent some time thinking about something he hadn’t any previous experience of.

The upshot seems to be that the church accepts the person…whatever and whoever that person, that Janes soul is the same soul she had as John…she is essentially the same person she was before and will remain so.

I think she’s a better person than she was before, i think that when you are happy in your skin your soul can resonate.

I came away happier, mainly becuase Jane is happier but also becuase i understand the process of annulment a little better. It could take a year or so to complete….but then i’ve waited seven years…if i have to wait one or two more it isn’t going to kill me.

Thankyou to everyone who has offered Jane advice and support on this..its really not an area i’m in anyway qualified to support her in.

That said i think the priest saw a chink in my ‘anti-organised religion’ armour when i admitted to agnostic tendencies.

Other news…. the local paper ran a piece on Jane, having picked the Mail story up. I love local news…. i think my all time favourite local news story was ‘tub of tutti-frutti ice-cream stolen from garden shed’ (Melton Mowbray local news).

And tomorrow is the sixth international same sex hand holding day. I’ll be out and about and holding hands with the girl in my life.


couldn’t have been much worse…. February 19, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — eclectic chicken @ 6:10 pm
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I may have sold my soul to the devil (see last blog) but at least I havn’t given it to the Catholic Church.

Jane defrocked yesterday and went to see her parish priest.

It wasn’t good.

She went in to ask about being herself when she goes to church (its the last place she wears mens clothes for) and came out in deep doodoo for living in sin.

Not being of a religious bent i can’t personally grasp the magnitude of being barred from communion….but I know its a huge deal for Jane….she cares enough about her faith for me to allow our son to be christened in the Catholic church.

We’ve now entered some mad conundrum about sin and sex¬† and all manner of stuff.

I’ve been led by John into a certain view of the Catholic church…a fairly libertarian, easy going version that has a lot in common with eastern philosophies.

A version solidified by the last pope….the nice polish geezer. And our last parish priest….a lovely old Irish priest who wouldn’t have stood out a mile on Craggy Island and who would I’m sure have seen the irony in himself a man in a frock needing to deal with Jane, a man in a frock.

The outcome would have been the same as it was from the present incumbent a missionary from Kenya… but it may have been done in a more personable way.

So now….i’m the bringer of sin….my son the product of sin…and Jane in a sinful relationship…. its not great.

Mostly it can be sorted…with time…an annulment…a marriage (in the church)….

that doesn’t cover the debate to be had about whether we’ll be able to have sex…and if we arent considered able to have sex…does that make what we have now less sinful….we’re in a catch22 situation.

What a tangled web we weave.

I don’t do god….i could do religion, the sense of belonging, the community feel…even the comfort of ritual but my literal brain can’t manage the belief bit.

But if i did believe in god….i couldn’t be doing with a god who apparantly can’t accept a lovely, gentle, good person like Jane for who she is.



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