changeling times

trials and tribulations of eclectic chicken

Maybe it is…and maybe it isn’t May 28, 2013

Filed under: cancer,home stuff — eclectic chicken @ 3:52 pm
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I’m sure you’re all (three of you) feeling abandoned from lack of posting….but here I am.

The PET scan was last week and I have been waiting for my appointment with the consultant to get the results – and that happened today.

This week is my stress cluster week… results AND moving house on Thursday.

I saw my GP last week and we noted my black dog is back and they suggested anti-depressants again but I’m hoping once I get this week over and done with – that the depression will lift again and all the positive stuff around having my own place will give me a boost.

Sooooo… anyway… appointment today and when I referred, on Facebook, to this being a Schrödinger’s cat of a week I had no idea how close I was to the truth.

The results are that there is still activity around my colon… the PET scan can show cell activity- what it can’t do is distinguish between cancerous cell activity and the sort of activity caused by having an inflammed and thickened colon. As PET scanners are relatively new technology there also aren’t decades of diagnostic interpretation behind it  to be able to make that judgement call… so it won’t get made.

What they are suggesting I do, is go in for another laproscopy (which is heartening) as the ‘mass’ is now small enough to remove through an equally small hole and I get to lose a small section of colon as opposed to the ‘almost a third’ which was on the cards back in the dim and distant days of having a camera up my bum last year in the ‘before we knew it was cancer’ time.

So…it could be cancer…it might not and we won’t know until I’m opened up. (and the removed portion prodded and tested).

My consultant said in the olden days (pre PET scans) or if I was an older person they’d be happy leaving me with the uncertainty… but as a younger person with responsibilities (and who reacts badly to not knowing stuff) surgery looks the best option.

And I think I agree with her.

Right… now on with the packing boxes.

 

 

A waiting game April 30, 2013

Filed under: cancer,home stuff — eclectic chicken @ 2:16 pm
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Another post chemo slump post…. but this one ‘hopefully’ will be the last.

Number 8 chemo was last Thursday, today was last day of steroids for this cycle.

…and now it’s a waiting game.

Life, even more than it has been for the last five months, is hanging in stasis…. worse than its been before becuase now I’ve done everything I can do. Like sitting an important exam – now all there is to do is sit back and wait for the results.

In this case actually waiting for a PET scan on the 20th May and THEN wait for the results. Which I’ll hopefully be given before seeing my consultant next on the 28th May.

Either way it feels like a rather long, excruciating wait.

I’m not sure what to do with myself.

Its not like I can bugger off on holiday and forget all about it or something as I still have the post chemo after effects to cope with.

But never mind…. and not like waiting for one thing is bad enough. The house buying is grinding along ‘nicely’ all the paperwork is with my solicitor and I guess we are still waiting for the searches to come back. Until it all goes through I’m all excited inside about buying a yellow kettle and a bed and getting all my coloured glass on new windowsills… planning a new garden,cooking in a new kitchen, settling in, cuddling up on the sofa with the boy and the dog – but I don’t want to spend the money or let the excitement out as it feels too much like tempting fate.

The whole bally thing feels like tempting fate…buying a house (or rather half a house…or even more accurately having half a house bought for me) before getting the results of my PET scan. But then… whatever the outcome I need to be in my own place, living my own life again… so I guess I’m waiting for that new life to start too.

 

only the registrar…. February 22, 2013

Filed under: cancer — eclectic chicken @ 1:10 pm
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…so that’s okay then.

That explains my overlong visit and descent into worry… the person I saw on Monday is a new(ish) and enthusiastic registrar. No wonder I was in there so long.

Yesterday was R-CHOP (chemo) number 5.

Having had a vomiting session the day before (very like the one at the beginning of this cycle- but not worth going into hospital with) I was weak as a kitten and slept through most of the chemo drip, waking up in time for my ham sandwich and trifle to be brought to me.

As the nurse in charge of my chemo session had to go and book me in with the consultant for my intrathecal (lumbar puncture) chemo I asked her to also check which scan I would actually be going for as Tuesdays doctor had changed the original referral to a PET – which I could see the point of more -especially as the registrar (well..i know he’s a registrar NOW) had said a CAT scan was just a glorified X-Ray.

She came back with the news that the CAT scan stands.

Not sure the registrar still will much longer if he keeps messing with the consusltant 🙂

So… thats sorted… and with that knowledge it chips away at  the hypothetical future worry fest he initiated… It’s nice to know theres a plan B and a plan C before they give up on me….but I think I prefer the ‘lets get this plan over with before opening the next door wide open’ method.

So…. CAT scan a couple of weeks from now and THEN I look at the options.

With my consultant.

..oh and Monday will be my last intrathecal chemo… thanks christ for that!

 

 
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