changeling times

trials and tribulations of eclectic chicken

Looking after mum October 15, 2012

Filed under: home stuff — eclectic chicken @ 11:37 am
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Probably my last post in this catch up flurry, as sooner or later I have to face the cold out of bed (broken central heating) and the colder outside (walking the dog, and going to the dentist).

I’ve had my mum here since last Wednesday (she slept in the front room where the only source of heat is)… I suspect its an occurance thats going to happen more and more often (though hopefully without the lack of heat element…).

My sister looks after my mum… luck of the draw mostly as she happens to live a matter of a few hundred yards away from her as opposed to 120 miles away. Had mum needed looking after a decade ago… she was living a few hundred yards away from me and a hundred and odd miles from my sister.

But I know my mum is hard work so I do what I can over the distance, when my sister phoned last week to say mum was in A&E with an infected foot (we suspect a dropped paving slab) I immediately offeredto have mum over here. She was in no fit state to travel so I waited for the word from my sister. Travelled over on Monday evening and brought mum back on Tuesday morning. Took her to the doctors, got her another course of antibiotics and tried to keep her off her feet.

We felt for a couple of days like a household in freefall, as I had a session on the bathroom floor vomiting and therefore no sleep that night, Jane has a cough that laid her low, the heating packed up and the next morning the boy was seriously late for school as nobody woke up in time.

I suspect things with my mum (and possibly our aged heating sytem) can only get worse and I may have to think seriously about moving to Cheshire so we are both a matter of a few hundred metres away… or whatever solution seems best at the time.

Had the heating been working I’d have kept mum here until her antibiotic course finished…not only was she not remembering to take them but didn’t seem to remember what she was taking them for. So ringing her several times  day to gently remind without nagging is my task from now until Thursday as I handed her back into my sisters care yesterday.

Our time as mums’ children is over… and like it or not we are being dragged into the adult role of caring for and making the big decisions in life.


Round trip with hotpot November 6, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — eclectic chicken @ 7:39 pm
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Another busy few days…. first back over to Annie’s by train, we are planning a retreat which will incolve knitting, wine, arty farty stuff, bleak seascapes and probably more wine. We spent a day on the intermeweb trying to find a cheap cottage in November…. who in their right mind goes away in November? Everyone it seems.

But we found somewhere…Annie and her magical phone manner brought the price down to pretty much half the original amount and so we are off next week…just the two of us and a dog. More later of that I suspect.

Then onwards to Cheshire for another visit to the cigar smoking bear… more hotpot and high jinks.  I’m very fond of my ciger smoking bear… and he does remind me of badger from Wind in the Willows. I toyed with making him an honorary badger…. but he suits his bear hat more.

Eventually I ended up at my intended destination which was my mums house… and had organised a lift back home with my brother in law…. with mum in the back seat supplying copious amounts of midget gems.

She’s here for a week…. so far so good. She’s 85 and often confused…. but I’m 44 and often confused… so I think we’ll get through the week.

Then on Friday I’m driving her home again…. I can almost smell the hotpot.


Final hurdles…. February 11, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — eclectic chicken @ 9:42 pm
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at least, that is, the final hurdles of ‘coming out’.

Firstly the school run. Whenever Jane has had to do this she’s pulled on a pair of chords grumbling all the way and stomped off in the mens shoes she owns.

We forwarned the class teacher and went for it a few days ago….Jane was willing to go it alone but at the last minute i went along for support. My theory is it makes her look less like a cross dresser on the loose. (psssssst did you change your meds and forget to get changed sort of thing) to someone being supported in an intentional course of action.

It didnt help my nerves her getting into an argument about parking spaces within seconds of getting out of the car.

But we did it.

Feedback was an almost immediate email from the teacher saying parents were asking what to tell their children…so we’ve agreed for her to put out a short note so any nastiness can come from a position of knowledge as opposed to a position of ignorance. (we’re hoping for a better class of rude comments that way) 🙂

From my perspective its sorted out the mums i might like to be friends with, some of them have been wonderfully supportive. The odd arm squeeze here and there…. positive comments, offers of coffee. I doubt any of the school mums read this…but if you do…you just made my life feel so much easier. Thankyou.

And finally i told my mum (in her eighties) who i half joked might descend into dementia before i have to tell her.

That option ceased to be realistic as most of my family cross over with my facebook presence and therefore could have picked up ripples of my news in a number of places.

My mum bless her said she wasn’t shocked, wasn’t disapproving and asked if she could buy John some pants for Christmas…’tight ones or french ones?’ (she’s always struggles with presents for hm…so i guess its pants for crimbo from now on).

Her reaction was so positive i’d a sneaky suspicion she didnt really understand…or dementia already had her in its clammy fist. But my sister (bless her even more) has spent the last few weeks planting the seeds with my mum with numerous conversations about ‘trannies we have known and loved’.

So….everyone now knows.

We can get on with life.



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