changeling times

trials and tribulations of eclectic chicken

Bon Fanniversaire to Jane July 12, 2012

Filed under: home stuff,trans stuff — eclectic chicken @ 6:22 pm
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Happy Fanniversary to Jane Fae’s flange.

This time a year ago we were down in Brighton and Jane had just had her grs.

Has it made a difference?

Yeah…

In her…. she’s more confident in who she is… she is woman hear her ROAR…well… at least whinge about her nails and stuff.

I guess the bottom line is that in the world we live in women have fannies and men have todgers… those of us more aware of the finer details/arguements/politics of gender know that aint neccessarily so…. but yanno…

…for the man on the omnibus (ok…maybe not Kings Cross at 5.30 am)! if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck and has a fanny its a woman…or at least a freaky type duck you can fuck.

So it must give Jane that assurance at some level…as she is a product of our society that when shit comes to shove and we all get dropped one side of the gender fence or the other… yeah yeah… the fence with only two sides… not the gender maze.

She comes down as woman (goes down…i’m not so sure about)!?!

Other than that.. in her day to day life I guess its made her habits more feminine..she can proudly display a camel toe… wee sitting down with her hands in the air…obsess about another area of feminine hygene and aesthetics… and I ‘believe’ (but only through following her blog) that she masturbates and orgasms… (too much info? – sorry dear readers of a sensitive disposition).

And me….

We’….ll … all that psychological effect has knock on effect on me .. the actual change in anatomy makes no difference.

I do wonder occassionally if I hadn’t gazed into her recently post op nether-maw resplendent in blood and gore and tearing stitches (not to mention the huge haematoma), whether I’d have had a little more curiosity about the whole thing.

I guess we’ll never know if i’m traumatised by gory gash or merely taking the easy option… or then again sticking to either of those is better than accepting I now have a partner who has privates which are erm… actually private ; and that its her choice to keep them so.

I’ve always been an open door person… a look at this…put your finger there person… no holds barred, no secrets – no physical nooks and crannies beyond the pale.

Until now.

I miss the casual intimacy of living with someone whose body is as familiar as my own… not just sexually.. but in the scratch that for me…can you get that zit for me sort of way.

We sleep apart, don’t share a bathroom, do share a child and live together.

I’m still commited to our relationship… but that goes beyond genitalia.. the relationship stands as it is through ten years of ups and downs and shared experience.

But I miss having a physical  partner in so many different ways.

In that respect I’m thankful for the freedom Jane is happy me having.. without physicality with other people I think I’d go bonkers.

But in ideal world… its nice to have that at home.

 

Attacks, one, two and three July 10, 2012

Filed under: home stuff,trans stuff — eclectic chicken @ 10:21 am
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How’s life?

Full of attacks.

Let’s start with the one with the smallest cause..which had the most effect.

Friday night stomach bug… very nasty. I’m not often ill… but this was a doozy. I spent the night wandering porcelein potty in arms between bedroom and bathroom. (the potty was to be sick in…. i miss the cool warmth of a plastic familiar smelling sick bowl i can go to sleep hugging… in childhood it was yellowish.. i should buy a new comfort bowl).

There was a point in the middle of the night where standing in front of the toilet waiting for the contractions to come faster and become a body doubling vomit attack when i thought, in my delirium, that i was having a baby and no-one had told me i was pregnant.

Not well at all….

Saturday Jane buggered off partying for the night… I wasn’t fit to do anything…couldn’t eat anything still… could manage water in moderate amounts. Luckily my daughter had mooted she’d be home at the weekend and so I asked her to come saturday…and she took over from Jane in looking after rafe, and she walked the dog and fetched and carried for me.

The result of Jane partying was the second attack, which if you are interested you can read on her blog. In short…. she was hanging out alone in Kings Cross Station at 5.30 in the morning and took a load of nasty verbal abuse from a load of piss heads.

Its not good.

But then… as I told her she’s the only woman I know who would hang out at a station on her own at that time of the morning.

In a utopian society or perhaps a fascist police state maybe it would be an acceptable and safe thing to do… in reality… no.

no no no no no.

You learn as you grow up female that you just don’t do that. You just don’t.

I’ve been on slutwalk… I know women should have the right to go where they please, dress how they like and behave however makes them happiest… but you don’t ACTUALLY walk the walk and put yourself at risk unless you are very silly, want to make a martyred point or maybe just maybe are hanging onto some residual ‘privilege’ from a previous incarnation.

She took the abuse as she had nowhere else to go and ‘it was raining outside’.

Sometimes I despair..and like an irate father would like to lock her up until she learns some fucking sense.

Yeah yeah she’s making some valid points to various official bods about personal safety in train stations in the early hours of the morning… but..yanno… myself… I’d rather be curled up on the bathroom floor vomiting my guts out than running that gauntlet with the alcoholic underclass in the small wee hours.

But that aside…. the rseults of my virusy microbey attack were positive… a 5lb weightloss (maybe there really was a baby – i’ll check behind the washing basket later) and a huge improvement in my psoriasis… answers on a postcard to the usual address if you have an inkling about tht one… my thoughts are lactose based but then I’m a well known hypochondriac of this parish.

Third attack… fairly minor but I quite impressed myself, was waking in my sick bed to see a swarm of ants issuing from a corner of the windowsill.

shit!

I went and called Jane…asked if we had any ant powder and she said she’d ‘look later’… I politely asked the ants to hold fire whilst she got round to it but they didn’t seem in the mood to compromise. So… I thought fast…. what did I have to hand?

Tea tree oil…. poured liberally round the hole stopped the buggers coming out and killed a few on contact.

Followed swiftly with a dose of sellotape to pick up the ones already running and flying around.

Job done.

 

Komment Zie hir March 12, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — eclectic chicken @ 12:03 pm
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Heres a piece Jane wrote for Pink News a couple of days ago.

“Australia may have made gender history this week, as the New South Wales government lays claim to being the first in the world to recognise an individual’s sex as officially “not specified”.”

Its about norrie mAy-Welby, a resident of Sydney and in the rarified world that is gender politics its a huge landmark. Beyond that it descends into factional bickering over whether its actually a ‘good thing’ or a ‘bad thing’….will this enable more people to claim that status, or will it potentially wrench status away from those who wish to define as one gender or another.

I think its a thing…neither good nor bad with potential both ways.

And being a thing brings me to Janes use of Zie and hir throughout the article.

I groaned when i first read it….its one of those affectations of speech and word that is often used by the sort of people who think you can ‘force’ people to think and to use language in a certain way.

But then i read it again.

And for a landmark outcome, where the person involved, where zie cannot be said to be definitely one gender or the other….i think in this case its worth using ‘new’ language.

In this case it makes total sense.

Thats how lasting change comes about…not by insisting on it but by altering peoples perceptions to a point where it just makes sense.

 

 
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