…. so… too distraught to ask for the siren on the ambulance (dear Jim’ll Fix I’d like to ride in the back of an ambulance with the sirens on….preferably to a hospital you’ve no dodgy links to).
The nice ambulance men decided gas and air wasn’t suitable as I’d been vomiting and suggested morphine…. as i never knowingly say no to morphine in a legally acceptable format I said yes…. and the ride was long enough for a second yes that made sure i did say “Wheeeeeeeee” being wheeled out of the ambulance and forget the word ‘tenuous’ and have three nurses trying to guess it becuase it was really important.
I wan’t allowed a drink at all so I tasted all nice and vomity and thanks to the morphine my mouth was drier than a camels arse in a sandstorm…. so I wasn’t naking much sense. When I tried to tell them I’d had a laproscopy it was close to them thinking I was fitting.
Anyway… sooner or later a doctor comes along who is high enough up to say I can have water as long as I spit it out.
Eventually…. I guess about six in the morning they rolled me down loads of corridors… very Brazil like (the film not the country) and then to a ward (some sort of back stage miscallaneous emergency triage? – I have no idea) just as it was waking up for the day.
So I went to sleep…. woke to be prodded…. woke to look at a tuna sandwich and eat a small trifle….woke to be visited by lots of consultants (including my ‘right now’ favourite consultant who tells me to eat aggs and chocolate if thats the only way i can get calories in at this stage) and woke for a brief visit from jane and the boy…but mostly I slept.
They gave me tramadol becuase I complained my pain relief wasn’t working…. and the nice lady with the trolley gave me a sleeping tablet…. so I slept through the night too.
I woke and had the worlds chewiest piece of toast and a cup of tea and then went back to sleep.
They woke me up to tell me I could go home…. I’m wondering if there was an option implied there?
The thought of just sleeping and being woken to nibble at food sounds like a good way to spent the next x number or weeks….
oh…sorry… the medical bit… hernia…. either straining to poo (thanks to a change of pain meds last week and a very out of condition colon) or possibly vomiting hardcore stylee on Sunday night… or even possibly, one doctor hazarded, becuase of the camera they shoved up my bum some weeks ago- I’ve blown a gasket… my weak point where post natal muscle knitting never quite happened.
Bad news is they didn’t prescribe me tramadol like what they promised (well it did make me feel very sick)…so sent me home with just paracetamol – which is a pain relief two step back movement.
But the good news is the my old friend the squits are back.
Is that enough information yet? 🙂