changeling times

trials and tribulations of eclectic chicken

Does my bum look big in this? (2) September 10, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — eclectic chicken @ 9:28 pm
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Today i’m asked about breasts….Janes breasts…a change in meds, a surge of hormones…a couple of weeks of emotional treading on eggs….and now breasts.

Are they bigger?

Well….no…not than last week when she asked.

And then i made the added error of casually saying i couldn’t feel any nodules like when she started budding.

Cue worried Jane.

Lots of onanistic breast fondling.

Bottom lip slightly out.

So eventually once we have some space i feel again…it feels like a breast.

A normal (small) breast.

note to self…when next asked are they any bigger just say YES and smile.

I’m getting used to living with an irrational female….

second note to self….buy a garden shed.

third note to self…… work out correct reply to ‘does my bum look big in this?’ as no doubt the transformational side of Jane would want to hear a yes but the neurotic femme would want to hear a no.


Read it and weep January 8, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — eclectic chicken @ 2:54 pm
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NHS funding processes and waiting times for adult users: Trans welbeing and healthcare.

It looks at top level as though the government (Dept Health) have sat down with the transgender community and listened to how things should be. In the name of political correctness they have written guidelines for GPs and this paper that lays out not just how things should ideally be but also how things are at present.

In many cases things are shit.

Becuase this is ‘rare’ there is no specific funding in many cases, its a tale of  delays and lack of money and of gatekeepers….serious gatekeepers. Whole committees to whom one has to go cap in hand to ask for money for diagnosis before one can even start to alleviate symptons.

No wonder people self treat.

What other human condition would you expect to have to wait to be formally labelled whilst being refused something to alleviate discomfort.

If someone would give Jane hormones she would feel she can move forwards, if she isn’t gender disphoric hormones probably won’t help and we won’t have lost anything and the official label machine can grind onwards and issue a label to a happier more at ease person instead of one who already feels blocked by the system and increasingly upset that who she is isn’t being addressed, let alone taken into consideration.

No wonder people go out and take the hormones regardless of the system. The process allows for this, almost encourages it by the way it is structured.

I don’t want Jane to self dose herself with hormones. She has an underlying condition that makes me very wary of her doing so.

But she will.

Becuase an 18 week target between GP and GIC feels like a lifetime when you’ve already waited a lifetime not being yourself. In fact i’m not sure what point in the gatekeeping system that 18 week target rally gets you to….I don’t care.

If i had a breakdown or a rare illness i’d be given something to alleviate the symptons even if the diagnosis of the condition wasn’t certain. Given something to make me know that someone is doing something. Someone wants to do the best they can.

This whole process rides on funding….go away and wait…go away and wait whilst a funding commitee at the PCT make a moral judgement as to whether you are worthy of the money to take away the discomfort, the pain, the distress.

I understand it has to come down to money and if the system felt as if it were working for and with us that might be bearable. But it doesn’t.

It blocks and says piss off whilst we judge you.

The document above talks of standardising the funding process which means some PCTs will actually lose access to some services they offer at present.

It smacks of a compromise when government sat down with trannies…..we try to make the system less based on moral judgement and you lose some funding from some areas. It standardises the experience…. otherwise known as bringing it down to the lowest common denominator.

A week ago, like most people i got the gist of what and who trans people were but didnt really understand…or really care.

Now….its personal….i’m quite disgusted with the system, not for the lack of money, the NHS can’t help that to some degree. But I’m disgusted that there seems to be so little understanding of the issue.  The system is set up to hinder and stigmatise, not help….even with limited funding it could do better.

NHS….could do better.



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