changeling times

trials and tribulations of eclectic chicken

oh! December 10, 2012

Filed under: cancer,out'n'bout — eclectic chicken @ 8:12 pm
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Thursday was quite an exciting day all round…. Jane buggered off to London for some Christamssy shenanigens and my c-s-b came to visit.

Now he doesn’t like being mentioned in my blog being a shy retiring creature but I can’t get round this day without mentioning him as he was the hero of the hour… so just forget you saw his initials and if you see him don’t mention it and certainly don’t poke him with a stick if he looks at all as if he might be deep in hibernation.

We spent a pleasant afternoon of me snoozing and him picking blu tac off the bedroom ceiling [seriously never come over all liberal parenty and let your kids put posters on the ceiling]!  and generally wiffling and catching up.

He even got the boy into Beavers on time and in a respectable state of dress (ie without holes in his trousers, wellies, or a dickie bow [which was admittedly just hiding the hole in the first pair of trousers]) whilst I gave it some much needed zzzs.

Just before beavers ended i decided to take my temperature for the day….

38.2 degrees

Emergency systems are go.

As soon as you top 38 degrees there is a phone number to call and in this case they told me to go straight to A&E…

So my days helper dashed off to retrieve the boy and to knock on my neighbours door to see if the boy could stay round their house.

No neighbours…. so speedy dash to the pub (good guess on my part) to retrieve neighbours whilst I packed a swift bag and stuffed some even swifter food into the boys hand.

Then off to Peterborough (via the chip shop)… journey not helped by me not being very good at navigating in the dark on morphine… but we only went round in one circle…. one. once. a quite big one.

A&E – and I have a handy laminated card that says my life may be at risk which I was being very British with and standing at the back of the queue holding it… it seems if you push straight to the front (as we did once my car parking attendent got back) they even see you in front of people with children in their arms. (but as any fule knos most children taken to hospital in their pjs at 7pm on a thursday night will be running round the waiting room with an airoplane made out of a ‘has your child got concussion?’ leaflet within ten minutes of sign in.) {i speak from experience and can quote that leaflet in several languages including cornish and orkish}

Anyway…. long story… Jane decided the ’emergency’ part of  ‘I’m going to hospital it’s an emergency’ was worth dropping her lesbian poet christmas bash for and came home.  (I was amazed she’d gone at all as her remaining cat from the three she had when we met had to be taken to the vets today and was put down at some point).

She was even persuaded to visit the hospital en passant… though missing my favourite part of the night which was the man putting my canula into my hand whilst telling me about a book on serial killers he’d bought his girlfriend as a surprise. I like discussing favourite serial killers whilst someone in white takes blood out of my arm. (we agreed Dennis Neilson came a worthy second place)

Jane dashed on home to collect the boy from the neighbours and eventually I persuaded my star of the day that it was okay to leave me to the tender administrations of the NHS as he had a long drive home ahead.

Onwards into the system into an isolation room hastily set up in emergency short stay…. well… they put a sign on the door and I believed were doing their best until it even filtered through to me that they just weren’t giving me the drugs my consultant had told them to give me….

luckily on Saturday night they moved me up to the more hushed and civilised climes of Haemo/Onc… actually still on the ground floor but from the window i could see the sky come the morning – thanks to a shallower internal well aka a garden outside.

Not just my own room and own bathroom but my own airlock 🙂 And drugs…. as many as they could reasonably fit into the remaining hours of saturday to make up for the dry period that started early that morning.

And then home tonight…..

Two of the household went into emergency medical care on Thursday and at last the second of us came home…. I have to say not being mentioned on Janes ‘my cat died, sad day’ status until about comment 23 was a little hurtful…. and if i get a Norwegian Forest Cat Onsie off her for Christmas I shall definitely begin to think she perceived the cookie crumbled all wrong last Thursday.

Edited to add… I was neutropenic… not a good thing at all.


Looking into the void July 21, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — eclectic chicken @ 1:31 pm
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Tuesday evening… I watched Jane dilate. (I’ll blog separately in laymans terms for the uninitiated)… I had said that was a part of the process I didn’t want anything to do with, especially so soon after the op… however having seen the haematoma (one couldn’t miss it) yesterday I felt pretty curious about this new genitalia thats caused us so much fuss. So when Jane asked me to see if the dilator was in far enough I said i’d have a look… a bit gory… but bearable and the dilator was in just fine.

Once out Jane was complaining of a sharp nipping, so I offered to have a look at the new fanny without having the dilator to focus on… one of the sutres at the opening of her vagina was under extreme strain and….

….well at that point i thought I’d have a bit of a lie down on the floor.

I didn’t faint… and it was a total over reaction on janes part to push the emergency button.

But it did allow me to discover just how up close and personal I want to get with a recently constructed still bruised and bleeding fanny.



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