changeling times

trials and tribulations of eclectic chicken

The difficult bit July 25, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — eclectic chicken @ 10:08 pm
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I knew this bit would be the worst… again like having a baby everything was focused on the ‘big event’ and nobody tells you the reality of the grinding hell of coping once you get home.

I guess if you live alone, and stocked the fridge and freezer up (as the hospital advised) and have a friend or two to come in and lend a hand it could be a peaceful healing time.

But in a household consisting of two adults (one of whom is only allowed to ‘mobilise’ and little else and is towing a catheter stand round the house), two teenagers (one of whom when left in charge of an invalid for a day managed to only make one beverage all day as a concession to ‘caring’) and a small bouncy boy (who has actually been an actual star and along with the other teen given now to moments of thoughtful and spontaneous helpfulness)…probably isn’t an ideal recuperative environment.

But we’re doing ok.

I make a really really crap nurse…. I managed for a day at home – I think I had my anti-nursing Damascene moment about four a.m the first night home when I found myself  half way to the toilet carrying a bowl of someone elses piss.

I know how crap it is when you’ve had surgery…. but mobilising has to include taking yourown piss to the toilet 🙂

I can do nursing the old fashioned way… where the patient stays put (except when dealing with their own bodily fluids), eats what they are given (ie MY version of a roughage rich diet [brown rice… brown rice and grapes] not theirs [some boiled to buggery frozen veg from the freezer])… and definitely no patient autonomy… most definitely not.

Unfortunately what Jane thrives on is modern nursing… touchy-feely-what do you feel like? nursing and so makes a very poor patient when faced with my style of nursing. (But I was amused today when the district nurse as much as told her to  go away and no you can’t have your catheter out early).

My concession to giving patient what she wants has evolved around revisiting her nursery palate. A smorgesbord (?) of polish delights… kszanka and pierogi et al. A beef and onion suet pudding, sausage and mash and a desire for kidneys and tapioca. (not together)

Other than that… she’s now dilating alone (thank goodness… I do need to wipe the vision of the frankengina from my memory…especially the bit where we realised the stitches that had been threatening to go – had gone)… it would be nice one day to make friends with my partners genitalia without remembering it as a bloody oozing gash.

(have you noticed I’m not good with nursing yet)?

Other than nursing duties I’m trying hard to keep the house at an acceptable level of clean and tidiness it doesn’t usually see (especially the kitchen) and doing all the shopping (Jane seems to have memorised all Tescos prices and I fear I’m a total disappointment in not always being able to spot or work out the special offers and god forbid I sneaked into Waitrose and bought some stuff).

But as the week goes on I can feel Jane getting back to normal… still tired…still in pain…. but getting more chipper by the day.

She’d better hurry up as my back is threatening to go again with all this activity. 🙂



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