changeling times

trials and tribulations of eclectic chicken

grindeth the cogs of change March 18, 2013

Filed under: home stuff — eclectic chicken @ 11:57 pm
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Ach well… the best laid plans and all that.

Turns out a birthday gathering might be a stress too much on the household… with all best intentions in the world there are times when our house teeters zit like on the edge of pustular explosion…. we had a bit of seepage at the weekend with Jane having a major wobbly down in Morrisons.

We all have our wobblies.

So cancel the meat paste sandwiches and birthday cake and this morning I rang the hospital and re-re-jigged my next doctor appointment and chemo back to where they should have been. Which puts my (hopefully) last chemo (number 8) into April… which psychologically is a month better than it would have been with the delay for my birthday (ok we all know it was only a weeks delay…but ssssssssssssh)!

We’ve also managed, Jane and I to sit down (or rather lean around in the kitchen) and start to have proper conversations about ‘the future’ and ‘what happens next’…. blessed relief all round I’d say. For her much of the relief was (like pre-transition) that I wasn’t going to shout at her (mostly the stress of not knowing whats happening in my life at all makes me shouty) and for me that she isn’t intending on just selling up and kicking me out to fend for myself and the boy in the wilds of Lincolnshire whilst she gallivants off on a networking fest in the bright lights big city.

The grand plan..and there are plans within plans and spin off plans and hypothetical situations.. is that we stay local mostly for the boys’ continuity, we sell the big house and ‘somehow’ end up in two smaller houses.

How this happens isn’t clear yet… but there are lots of options. (though if someone could lend me £80,000 tomorrow I could crack on with my favourite option soon as).

The boy is on side that we’ll have two smaller houses… he hopes ours will have the dog in it and the X-Box and he wants a smaller garden that we can manage (bluebells, snowdrops and tomatoes in tubs…maybe a pond) and the other will have a cat (and Jane) in it. We had a look online and he rather likes the look of modern two bed houses…which is good…as that’s what we’ll probably end up in.

Whatever happens…and whatever the next few months bring at least we’ve broken the impasse and (I hope) we all feel a lot more relaxed  that change is afoot and it’ll be a positive change for all of us.



Off to a stumbling start. January 17, 2012

Filed under: home stuff,out'n'bout — eclectic chicken @ 7:51 pm
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So after my last post the intention was to find some time where Jane and I could sit down and have a ‘proper talk’. Possibly even a ‘Proper Talk’ if not a PROPER TALK.

But first we needed to get the boy back to school…always good for gaining space for uninterrupted conversation as evenings are still very much the domain of the insomniac seven year old.

And let’s get his birthday party out of the way and the enslaught of friends and relatives that come with such an event. (it was a roller skating party and although i hadn’t been on roller skates for about twenty years, i did okay and even better quit while i was ahead before i fell over and did something nasty to my back).

And then I needed to get my daughter back to Uni… which was followed by a couple of days over with the cigar smoking bear.

And then home…. and space…and back to a solo double bed…and maybe…yes maybe the time and space to talk.

But then on Saturday morning we woke up to no electric…and oh! a waterfall down the garage wall, easily sourced to the boiler hanging on said wall.

We managed to get a plumber out…and had the forethought (eventually) to turn off the water in the street (thanks to Mike next door… though what the neighbours thought seeing him coming out of my house with us both in pj’s on a cold saturday morning – i have no idea)… and we also ran as many taps as we could to try and distribute the water fall.

We were both kinda stressed…. even though we managed to get a plumber out… and even better a plumber who was booked to come and see us on Tuesday anyway to sort out a couple of radiators. Rafe pointed out that listening to waterfalls and birds is good for stress…. so listening to the water pouring into the garage and  our chickens clucking in the garden MUST be relaxing. 🙂

Plumber left…. we had electric and gas….but no heating…. in the first real cold snap of the year.

So the boy and I decamped to Annies over in Leicestershire…. the boy skived off school a couple of days and Jane stayed to man the fort with a borrowed heater and hopefully several layers of jumpers.

So here we are at Annies…its bitter out there… but the woodburner is ticking over nicely… Henry dog is contentedly harumphing in front of it and i have a sofa of blue to sit and type on. We’ve been well fed (Annie makes not just edible vegetarian food…but desirable veggie food {three helpings of veg and macaroni bake down tonight})… and looked after…and have had the run of her new guest room and en suite (one of the best toilet views i know; out over the Vale of Belvoir).

But I want to go home.

After all the kerfuffle of Christmas and visits and upsets… I just need the peace of being at home. Part of me wants that peace so much i no longer want ‘the conversation’ let alone a ‘Proper Talk’…. after all… anniversary over things will probably settle down to pottering along again.

But we do need to have the talk.

Especially when I read janes blogs…. she’s exploring herself, her politics, her sexuality…. and it just feels like every exploration she makes takes her further away from any sort of solution we could have as a couple.

So home tomorrow… cold or no.

And then…. we shall see.



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