Ach well… the best laid plans and all that.
Turns out a birthday gathering might be a stress too much on the household… with all best intentions in the world there are times when our house teeters zit like on the edge of pustular explosion…. we had a bit of seepage at the weekend with Jane having a major wobbly down in Morrisons.
We all have our wobblies.
So cancel the meat paste sandwiches and birthday cake and this morning I rang the hospital and re-re-jigged my next doctor appointment and chemo back to where they should have been. Which puts my (hopefully) last chemo (number 8) into April… which psychologically is a month better than it would have been with the delay for my birthday (ok we all know it was only a weeks delay…but ssssssssssssh)!
We’ve also managed, Jane and I to sit down (or rather lean around in the kitchen) and start to have proper conversations about ‘the future’ and ‘what happens next’…. blessed relief all round I’d say. For her much of the relief was (like pre-transition) that I wasn’t going to shout at her (mostly the stress of not knowing whats happening in my life at all makes me shouty) and for me that she isn’t intending on just selling up and kicking me out to fend for myself and the boy in the wilds of Lincolnshire whilst she gallivants off on a networking fest in the bright lights big city.
The grand plan..and there are plans within plans and spin off plans and hypothetical situations.. is that we stay local mostly for the boys’ continuity, we sell the big house and ‘somehow’ end up in two smaller houses.
How this happens isn’t clear yet… but there are lots of options. (though if someone could lend me £80,000 tomorrow I could crack on with my favourite option soon as).
The boy is on side that we’ll have two smaller houses… he hopes ours will have the dog in it and the X-Box and he wants a smaller garden that we can manage (bluebells, snowdrops and tomatoes in tubs…maybe a pond) and the other will have a cat (and Jane) in it. We had a look online and he rather likes the look of modern two bed houses…which is good…as that’s what we’ll probably end up in.
Whatever happens…and whatever the next few months bring at least we’ve broken the impasse and (I hope) we all feel a lot more relaxed that change is afoot and it’ll be a positive change for all of us.