You know what I hate?
When medical bods disagree with each other.
I’m up for my 5th R-CHOP chemo on Thursday and then my consusltant had me down for a CT scan…. and after that they’d make a decision as to whether I’ll be having the rest of a 6 cylce course (ie one more) or an 8 cycle course (3 more) – I’m sure you can guess which I was hoping for.
Today, I turn up for my pre-chemo blood letting and appointment with the consultant and see someone different as my usual bod is off today.
I was in there talking to him for an hour!!!! as opposed to the usual 10 minutes or so…. which was useful as we had a good chat about all sorts of stuff and he drew me diagrams.
But he couldn’t work out why I was down for a CT scan…as that won’t show much at all… he thinks I need another PET scan (which shows up what is dead and what is live tissue).
They can then compare my last PET scan results with the new results and see if the R_CHOP is still making inroads into killing off the lymphoma or if its done as much as it can and is now just holding the bugger at bay from coming back.
So cross fingers that a)consultant A doesn’t come back and change the decision for a second time as nothing makes me feel more uncertain than medics not showing a united front and b)that PET scan B shows a lot less live activity.
If this isn’t the case they’ll ditch the R-CHOP and give me something stronger… shit and death R-CHOP is nasty stuff (so nasty they don’t tend to give it to old or frail people) but I don’t relish the thought of something stronger one little bit.
I’m told they’ll personalise things a lot more if we give up on R-CHOP.. that I may get longer rests between chemo sessions if need be… and to ‘trick’ the cancer they’ll probably give me a dose of chemo thats ten…or 50 (lets just call it umpteen as my memory is so shit) times stronger than my present chemo – a dose that would take about three months to recover from…. but luckily before they do it they take a load of my stem cells and give them back to me afterwards to give a swift boost to getting over the experience.
…..but… the medical man said…obviously taking pity on me making a mess of my mascara and wiping my nose on my hat as I’d forgotten a handkerchief… that’s all hypothetical as your PET scan could be very good.
My own damn fault for being optimistic about all this so far…. a quick glance at the not so optimistic and I’m a bit of a wibbly wobbly wreck.
Cross more fingers, light another candle and turn positive thoughts up to 11 please.