changeling times

trials and tribulations of eclectic chicken

Love’s a complicated thing. February 14, 2013

Filed under: home stuff — eclectic chicken @ 11:51 pm
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It must be so simple if you are a couple in love on Valentines day… supposing you both ‘do’ Valentines day and commercialism doesn’t stick in your craw.

Being in a ‘complicated’ relationship makes Valentines slightly less straight forward. I bought Jane a card ages ago on a day when i had the energy to stand and stare hard at cards for quite a long time…. I went for a ‘Happy Valentines Day’ option.

Last night I sat down to write it and came a blank…. shit.

This is our 9th Valentines and I’ve always tried to write something personal and pertinent beyond ‘I love you’.

This year even ‘I love you’ didn’t seem apt…. what we have isn’t the sort of love celebrated on Valentines day… its a common history, a shared child, a commitment and a coupling on the wane…. but the pink flowery hearts and flowers…nah.

When I opened Janes card to me she’d obviously hit the same sort of impasse and had opted for a sort of get well soon/valentines combo.

I was glad I hadn’t caved in and scrawled some soppiness I didn’t mean… in the end I went for a poem.

“Roses of red

Chrysanthemums frilly

Sending a card

Feels kind of silly.”

But we both got cards, which is what counts.

In fact I got two (having a very complicated relationship status)…. I havn’t spoken to the man behind the other one today. I can’t face that he’s probably spending the evening with someone else (as he also has a complicated relationship status).

Like I said up top it must be so simple if you are a couple in love on Valentines day.

Moving swiftly on for those for whom today was just pants….

In a months time on 14th March we have ‘Steak and a blow job day‘ a chance for every man, who buckled down to the desires of his other and bought pink stuff and flowers and pretended that romance was more important than looking at porn/football/going to the pub/quality shed time (or whatever else he really wanted to spend tonight doing), to get some karmic return.

Failing that… and skipping the obvious Springtime in Paris (which has to come later than february as we found out a few years ago when we spent Valentines there and it was so foggy I still to this day believe the Eiffel Tower is only thirty feet tall and not very pointy at all).

Go to Barcelona for St Georges Day… St George, as well as being the paton saint of the EDL is the parton saint of Catalonia and his day is a day for love.

The whole of Barcelona comes to a halt, the streets are full of book stalls and people selling roses…. the squares are full of happy Catalans in national dress doing folk dancing. It’s lovely.

Actually the main man of my day, is an absolute sweetheart…. touchingly thoughtful at times.

Mum…. do you want a cuppa tea?

And he brought me the first cup of tea made by his own fair hands -on a tray. With chocolate.

 

5 Responses to “Love’s a complicated thing.”

  1. I do enjoy your blog, and the way it is so different from Jane’s, and for your honesty and directness. This one is very touching, and so recognisable. Me too. I received a card. Not from my beloved as was, but a friend, with a shared buddhist wish: be happy, be well. What more could I want. I wish the same to you.

  2. Lucy Melford Says:

    St Valentine’s Day is also (and forevermore) my wedding anniversary, and divorce in 1996 hasn’t changed that historical fact – in fact this year’s St V Day was my 30th wedding anniversary. See the blog for The Writeup, if you’re interested. I celebrated by cleaning the cooker hood and fitting a new filter. Domestic Goddess stuff.

    You did much better than I did in the card and biscuits stakes, Andrea: nary a loving message came through my front door, nor did a loving child place tea and biscuits on my lap. Sigh.

    You know, I’ve got a tray very similar to that. But Kitkats are now out of my life.

    Lucy

    • ah my wedding anniversary was the 17th (nearest saturday to Valentines day) 🙂

      I love the photos with your dad’s captions…and your cold honeymoon made me smile…. we blew the electric in the house trying to heat our wedding reception (having left testing the chimney until too late to do anything about the fact that it filled the house with smoke)…and my wedding night was SO cold I didn’t get undressed…just got into bed) – what sort of numpties think a February wedding is a good idea?

      …but whatever else you let go from your life Lucy…. kitkats should stay!

  3. Eve Says:

    How sweet of your son to bring you those goodies and although this is out of sync, what a stressful time you have been having re your treatment. I know I haven’t posted but have been thinking of you. I didn’t realise St George’s Day (which incidentally is my birthday) was a day of love. How nice to know that….. Not much news here, no further communication re Sarah’s funding or hormones – stalemate at the moment 😦 Take care honey and good luck with next treatment xx


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