yay….highly original [not] title for the long awaited hair loss blog.
The chemo I’m on is R CHOP and hair loss is pretty much definite…. its something I’ve been quite excited about as I spent chunks of my youth with a number 1 or number 2…. sometimes bequiffed…most oftener not. I like not having hair… I like the way it makes you have to face the world full square on and have nowhere to hide.
I think everyone should have their hair lopped off drastically at least once in their lives just to feel the freedom of it. Hair is something surrounded by a huge amount of emotion and identitiy
Last time I cut off all my hair was about twelve years ago… for charity. (I didn’t let on it was no great burden for me and raised a fair old chunk of dosh as my hair was very long at the time) But I decided then I was getting too full faced to get away with it really.
So now…. thinner of face (and most other parts) than I’ve been since my early twenties, the whole hair loss thing just hasn’t worried me.
Its one of those things that people go into sympathy mode about and the wigs v scarves debate kicks in early.
So.. yesterday it started.
In the shower in hospital, trying to get the tangles with my fingers rinsing the shampoo out and I came away with almost a handful….
wow… it’s just strange.
This morning at home the boy and I took turns in seeing who could get the most in one go and then i made an appointment at the hairdressers to go and have it all taken back to a number 2…. just to save on the hoovering, or me getting hair balls or something.
I suspect total baldness feels very different from even a number 1.
But for the record… if I get a wig its just to please the boy…. I’m going hats and scarves or naked when its warm enough.
Interestingly Jane and I were talking about it briefly this morning and she seemed quite pro-wig… but when she transitioned in the early days she was totally anti-wig for herself… not so adamant later on when she could see them as a fun accessory.
She tells me thats different… but I don’t think it is at all.
Its about self identity… I don’t need a wig to make me who I am… same as Jane didn’t need a wig or fillets to make her Jane.
If I get a wig, like I said, it will be to make someone else happy (something that wasn’t an option in Janes identity struggle) or for sheer entertainment if I can find something totally Dolly Partonesque… and who wouldn’t say yes to that!
Oh…and also for the record I’m not in the market for a merkin either… but yes it is.
Hmmm… maybe I should be weaving my headhair into merkins and selling them on Etsy… damn…another money making plan considered just too late.