Where were we?
Oh yeah…. ct scan..colonoscopy…blah blah…. then back in to see the consultant who fast tracked me for all these delights..who couldn’t tell me anything as the results weren’t in.
Then (to cut long story short cos i really can’t be arsed) an early morning phonecall on Friday to see if i could come in and have a lapriscopywatsit (more cameras just stuck somewhere different to look at the outside of the lump).
[incidentally last night I dreamed the lump was called Grendel…. sometimes my subconcious is shit hot]
So… as I hadn’t yet arisen and broken my fast I said I was raring to go…
blah blah blah…. it’s cancer.
There that put you all out of your misery without having to read about the apologetic woman with sleep apnea (snort snort sorry…throughout the night), or any of the other light hearted looks at my fellow humans and the world around us…
I’ve pulled the short straw… it could have been my gall bladder (had it been 6 inches higher and a bit more right…. obviously a diagram you only need to memorise if you rise to consultant level)…could have been Crohns…. but no…
…after a fairly bad few years I get the short straw.
Thankyou to the small god of random shit (to steal shamelessly from old watsisname Pratchett).
For anyone interested in detail its a lymphoma and we don’t know its name yet (other than Grendel…and don’t worry I once named some chicks destined for the pot and still managed to kill one and eat it…so anthromorphising this little fucker won’t make me fond of it)…. the biopsy has gone to Addenbrookes to be identified and I should get a call from oncology early next week.
Other than that…. life goes on… well apart from I’ve just had an op and am feeling a bit shite.