Tomorrow Lucky McBat-ears Michael goes to have his knackers off at the vets.
Initially finding he wasn’t a dog who humped the furniture and wasn’t a dog who was nasty with other dogs I said I wouldn’t have him done. (Even though we promised the rescue centre we would…. but then they charged us £250 quid for a dog they’d had one night and if he’d stayed there longer they’d have been obliged to have him neutered and still no doubt charged us the same amount…)..anyways….. I digress.
Everytime we went near our vet, be it for a new dog check up or to buy food they tried to talk me into having his balls lopped off…. mostly with the arguement that it would lessen his chances of testicular and prostate cancer in later life… they couldn’t answer why this applies to dogs and not men…
…. but they did tell me it would cost £175 …at which point I decided my furniture could take a little humping and developed an anti-de-bollocking arguement around the social engineering of pets and over puppification of dogs.
I find a strange enough arguement sees most people off (both these tacks I suspect would work on Jehova’s witnesses too)….
Trouble is as he reaches toward the maturity of being two my terrier has been getting a bit cocky and fair blusters sometimes with his nadgers intact…. shows a bit too much interest in lady dogs in season (why don’t people keep their bitches in heat at home wearing their pjs [to stop blood on the sofa] and eating dog chocolate [to maintain a tenuous analogy])?
And sometimes when I whistle him he turns and looks and says ‘what ME? Lucky McBat-ears with my male parts intact?’ and wanders off to piss on another gravestone.
So… a new vet opens in town.
They charge £85 for castration… plus some optional extra charges like an intravenous drip to speed recovery… or a new fangled anaesthetic (they assure me the old one works)… but at least all these things are optional.
For £85 I’m happy to have him done…. finding arguements not to was tiring me out.
Now should be the time to showcase my newest invention (in collaboration with my friend Eleanor)… I think we decided to call it ‘Dingle Dangles’ ….. basically when one has ones household males neutered (of whatever sort) you have inserted into the empty ball sack some bells…. probably titanium or something… like those chinese chiming balls.
For dogs etc this would be mostly for entertainment but also to let you know when they are sneaking into the kitchen to steal food… but it was I admit mostly with cats in mind… especially the sort of cats who have worked out how to get belled collars off in order to eat garden birds.
But to go back to vets and operations…. it beggars belief that two vets within a mile of each other can charge at such differing rates… its not (you cynical person you) becuase they are new in town and undercutting the established vet. The new vet has a practice 4 miles up the road in which they also charge at a decent level.
I’m also hoping after the fiasco a few years ago of having our Leonberger put down in old age and us having to carry our own dead pet to the vets van as she weighed over 65kg (elf and safety dontcha know)? – that this vet will not only be a lot cheaper but also a little more client empathic.
We shall see.
(…and also if they let you bring the balls home in a jar – which they wouldn’t let me when Jane was done).