….. its been another emotional ride the last few day. My cbt counsellor is poking me with an emotional pokey stick which neccessitates parking up and sobbing on the way home. Tears that have been held back perhaps twenty odd years as opposed to the mere two I was expecting…. tears for the first and most important man in my life – my dad. Echoed in the faux -bereavement of the fourth that is taking me so long to work my way through.
Hold on?… what happened to numbers two and three…. two also died (nothing to do with me…it was a few years after we finished… but he was my first ‘proper’ boyfriend…my first real love) and third I got divorced from. I’m told divorce can be a form of bereavement too… so I’ve obviously been losing men left right and centre for a while.
Times like this its good to have the cigar smoking bear who instantly puts life back on the up…. makes me laugh, feeds me good food and curls up tight with me.
He reminds me in many ways of numbers one, two and three…. but he’s not a number he’s a free man…oh no wait….
(and yes i can count…. it’s a Homeresque reference)