It transpired last night that the boy wasn’t totally sure what jane is going into hospital for. I was talking him through the next weeks arrangements, who’ll be looking after him, where we’ll stay when we visit Jane and I thought I’d better check he knew why she was in hospital.
We’ve already covered the ground several months ago that breasts change just with taking tablets but as the boy wanted to know would her willy drop off…and I explained that no…that took a visit to the hosital as it needed an operation to get a fanny.
But he’d forgotten…or not put two and two together with this impending hospital visit.
Janes going to get her new fanny.
“Will Dad have her willy cut off”
No, they’ll turn it inside out and make it into a fanny, then she’ll be more like a girl and she’ll be happier.
“Wow…. but she’ll have her balls cut off?”
And so just like when she had a hernia operation last year I talked the boy through the basics of the op. We didn’t mess around with the tricky stuff like replumbing but he worked out himself that they’d have to take out the hard stuff you can feel inside your willy…. he hadn’t realised a fanny was an actual hole but did remember babies have to come out of somewhere (except in my case he knows he came out through my stomach where the scar is).
“So they’ll just turn her willy inside out and put it up inside her?”
Pretty much… yes… they have to make a hole for it to fit into.
And we move on to other stuff like Lego and computer games and actually its time for bed.
I don’t think he perceives it any differently from the hernia op…except its a bigger procedure and she’ll need looking after for a while. He has a view of the world I wish more of us could have…. he doesn’t see it as a defining moment…just an operation. He knows Jane needs to have it becuase it will help make her happier and more like a girl.
Most of the time I can see it that way too.
When he comes back in a few months time and asks as I won’t have a baby brother for him ….will Jane?… I may have to draw a diagram.