I’m going to sort of explain the surgery Jane will hopefully be having in the summer sometime… it won’t be totally accurate medically…and it may well have gaps in it (as I admit that sometimes when people talk about surgery I suddenly start hearing the Monkees in my head and it drowns out all the icky stuff).
Basically the timing of the operation depends on hair removal… no… not the chest, face, back, leg, tummy, underarm, toe hair. (Trans women contrary to tabloid presumption have to deal with all that hair the same as any other woman does… )
What we thought would need to be paid out for was the entire scrotal area to be zapped in one way or another to burn out the follicles to stop regrowth.
And why do you need to stop regrowth you may be asking? Becuase some of your outisde bits end up as inside bits and you really don’t want hair growing inside your vagina. oh..no..no no no no.
But as it happens the method they use in Brighton doesn’t really involve much scrotal skin (its more of a Thai thing and can lead to your new fanny dropping out… which i’ve been scaring Jane with for months and now the mean old surgeon has spoiled my fun).
So there is just a bit of hair removal around the base of her penis [holy moley…that phrase needs a blog all of its very own] to be done. And when thats done the surgery can go ahead… rough estimate seems to by July sometime.
They then, shorten the urethra and replumb…create a body cavity… remove the balls and stuff from inside the penile shaft… invert whats left of the penis and stuff it somehow up the new cavity…and hope it sticks. Theres then some lips to make…. oh and not forgetting the ‘peanut sized’ bit of flesh from the glans of the penis will be transferred nerve endings and all to make a (hopefully) working clitoris.
And no I can’t bring the bollocks home in a jar for a conversation piece…I did ask.
After a few days the ‘packing’ is removed and one has to start the lifelong routine of dilation and doucheing.
This is the bit that hadn’t occurred to me.
The new vagina is basically an internal sack of skin… it doesn’t lead anywhere (duh!) and needs two bits of maintainance.
First it needs dilating…at first three times daily..but this lessens over time. Now I thought this might involve things like speculums or other scary sorts of fanny-jacks. But no! It involves a couple of rather lovely clear acrylic dildos one larger, one smaller with which to exercise ones new vagina.
The nurse told us you can shine a light up the shaft of it and see into your vagina…. this sounds like fun science!
The question I didn’t like to ask was…
Women need to learn to orgasm….any woman (or so i read)…I guess part of that is training your brain to link sensations in your ladies paraphenalia together in your brain. So is playing with your new clitoris a good plan when dilating ones new vagina?
If you damage nerves in your arm…you just keep repeating the movements your arm needs to make until the brain retrains the nerves to make sense.
Isn’t this the same theory for tying together clitoral nerve endings and penetration? (answers on a postcard please as Janes banned me from asking at the hospital).
Anyway…all this dilation isn’t about enjoyment its to stop the skin sack sealing up or over tightening so it can be used.
The second bit of daily maintainance is with a douche. The exact model (which you can buy in pink) was written coyly on a piece of paper for us…I’m not sure that was to prevent advertising as the camera was running or becuase it comes from an ‘adult’ website. (Love Honey in case you want to rush out and buy one).
This bit of kit as any fule nos (or actually it hadn’t occurred to me at all) is becuase the new vagina does not self lubricate or clean itself….so it needs to be flushed out with warm water.
And that pretty much is that.
Its actually quite fascinating…. so much more interesting than her last years hernia operation.