changeling times

trials and tribulations of eclectic chicken

more backfill June 7, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — eclectic chicken @ 8:54 pm

I got some counselling…its a pincer movement dealing with the old problems and the new.

I also got some anti-depressants and some anti-anxiety drugs.

I get very anxious.

The panic attacks started as an after effect of the drunk in the bus station.

I guess a trans-person uses their feeling of personal fulfillment as a counter balance to give them a reason to re-enter the fray.

Whereas I’m still trying to find a way to deal with the immensity of the change in my life…. I think we found one positive in counselling….that having a trans person as a partner just adds to the general bohemian type eclectic mish mash of non normality that I seem to crave.

But its still change, its still change that I have no say or control in.

That’s something I obviously struggle with.

I have no role other than innocent bystander. A bystander in the rain.

The joyeous parade passes by.

It should be easy to join the parade.

But its not.

It’s just not.

 

One Response to “more backfill”

  1. Em Says:

    Was just thinking maybe you could start your very own parade.x


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