Another couple of low days mostly brought about by the response to the Mail article.
Just yesterday one of the school mums said how lovely it was, what a beautiful story, how it almost made her weep, how she’d never understood what trans was before…and most importantly for me she added…”it could happen to any of us”.
And thats why i put myself through a very public process…becuase it happened to me. It happens to lots of people every year….a partner reveals a secret and your world turns upside down….ANYTHING that might help ease that turmoil or lessen that impact is a good thing to do.
What we have had since Saturday is a steady trickle of criticism from within the trans community. It ranged from our ‘selling out’ and using the ‘wrong’ language to the fact that the very existance of the article would put the blood of trans-women on our hands.
Now, over the last couple of months i’ve become more and more supportive of the trans community they are people Jane is connecting with for a myriad of reasons….but like any sort of community you start to get sucked in, you start to use the language and eventually in the case of many communities the end result can be that you become ghettoised.
I’m now determined not to go that far….i never really could as a ciswoman (!?!) its not my club. But i was happy to wear a guest pass as a partner of a transwoman.
As a partner the other option is not to try and gatecrash the trans party but join the partners groups out there.
Unfortunately the ones i’ve found to date have been full of the wives of cross dressers complaining about their husbands habits and laying down rules and restrictions for when they are allowed to indulge. Horrid stuff.
I’m not even sure why i’d want to mix with other partners….we’d only validate each others grumbles…and i’ve never really done the women together slagging off the partners thing.
I certainly don’t want to lay myself open to any more of the negativity we’ve had over the last few days. I know what we did reached out to the people we wanted it to reach out to…there are some projects hovering that we might be able to do with a longer time scale…but at the moment i feel raw again…raw and rejected.
I need to get my head down, put energy into the relationship i have. The only person i really need to be connected to is Jane.