changeling times

trials and tribulations of eclectic chicken

The varnish says it all. January 9, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — eclectic chicken @ 10:03 pm
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Yesterday metallic green, today shocking pink….. condensing and expressing everything you want to be through the medium of nail varnish.

You note every double take and i think revel in them all.

I don’t look to notice and cringe inwardly when you tell me.

If we lived in isolation on a desert island with a checkpoint for the trans-friendly life would be a breeze.

We took your Christmas present back today (the most delicate male bracelet i’d been able to find-even before you told me) and swapped it for rather beautiful silver and green stone ear-rings and pendant (I’m happy to keep them warm til your ears get pierced). We pretended in the shop that they were for me. I wish we hadn’t…but the thought of it had stressed me today so we did it that way.

Strangely enough in John Lewis i spotted a long pink cardigan and tried to persuade you to try ity on. I guess that says something about my perception of the John Lewis ethos….. i feel safer shopping with you in there.

Coming out is an interesting process…. i guess you find it liberating, you gather around you everyone you trust and slowly edge out to those you are not so sure of, or those you don’t care about….the ones you forget and remember later and the few you care about but can’t quite work out.

You are always a communicator, bouncing thoughts and ideas and conversations off as many people as possible.

I tend not to tell people things, nor look for help and support.

In extremis i’ve told my sister about you and touched base with one other friend. I really should start taking up offers of support which have come in from people you’ve told. I’ll need them for when the negative stuff starts.

You reported back the double takes at green nail varnish at school.

The negative times will come.

I’m not ready yet.

 

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